Frustration About not Fully Understanding my Disabilities

I don't fully understand my disabilities and it's kind of frustrating. Because i really want to understand why i am the way i am as a disabled person but i don't really, i understand the baseline stuff of why i got diagnosed with these disabilities but not how they affect affect me. You know what i mean?

Anyway, i hope i'll learn more as i grow and i'll be more accepting of myself and my disabilities. Ranting about them won't get me anywhere good in life.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Processing Being Told About my Diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder

 I was diagnosed when i was 4 or so, the exact age of diagnosis isn't really known, and i was told when i was a little bit older and might have been able to understand the news of my having autism.  My parents sat me down on the couch one night and told me of my diagnosis, while they used videos of a Canadian hero to drive home the point that autism is a superpower. The guy had cancer, not autism or it was simply speculation. Then, literally, that was it when it came to my having autism. There wasn't any more details. Everything made sense afterwards. I don't think i was able to understand, or connect the dots, whenever i was told but i started to understand why i was put into another school and into this room for the whole day as i grew, or after every single day. And why i was in ABA therapy every half day when i was younger than i was told i had autism. And afterwards, i only saw autism through myself. Meaning that i knew autism made you a bit stupid, for lack of a bette...
Read more

I'm Mentally Distracted, Don't Talk to Me

 SchoolRP reminds me about the term, Escapism, where one mentally distracts themselves from the unpleasant aspects of their lives.  This server reminds me of that time, during the COVID Pandemic, where i'd be stuck at my computer desk in the basement of our old home for hours on end. I mean, who can blame me? My school and entire province was on quarantine orders. School existed, yes, but it was all virtual and it could literally be done faster than an average in person school day lasted. Which was 7 hours. Plus, you had breaks in between and you could work on your school work after the learning meeting was done. It all seemed quite lackluster in terms of our old in person schooling schedule.  I would be talking to people, and forgetting all about what was happening in the real world. I didn't want to read the rules nor did i want to see and hear about the latest cases and the quarantine. I like to think my escapism was my way of dealing with it and processing the change ...
Read more

I Hate Being Disabled (weird format, Sorry)

  I Hate Being Disabled!!! Ever since i was aware of my diagnoses, i subconsciously understood that i was different from the others, even sometimes from other autistic kids in my elementary school. I knew i was different, but that doesn’t mean i like that all of the time. Sometimes, or most of the time i feel, i dislike my disabilities and had wished that i didn’t have them. But, sometimes, i was vibing with my diagnoses since they weren’t causing me problems that wouldn’t have been there if i wasn’t diagnosed. This post is about me processing my life with all of my disabilities and how i feel about them. The most problems came from my autism in my childhood, i struggled a lot with self regulation and my meltdowns couldn’t be hidden nor be nonviolent as i assume i didn’t have the skills to make it so. That was the most visible aspect of my autism, i feel, so i tried to self isolate myself as to not be at risk of hurting someone that i mutually like. And i was secluded most of the d...
Read more