My Autistic Brain and Its' Thoughts

 Lately, i've been looking back at my childhood, especially at memories when i was in ABA Therapy and in all of these other therapies as a child under 10 years old. But also looking at the memories of summer camps before and after turning 10 years old.  And it just strikes me as strange. I might have been in special education AFTER going to that IBI Program. Like i said that that IBI Program was special ed, but what if it wasn't, and then when i was mainstreamed back in my old school, that was when the special education classes for me start?  If so, why were most of the kids there without EAs or accomodations? My desk was placed as near to the teacher as much as possible but everyone elses' were in their regular spots. I was the only one who came in and out too, while the rest of the classmates only left for like recess which was pretty normal at the time. They had their quirks, sure, but like every kid has their quirks, and if anything, i assume that it's just the ADHD...

I have mid support needs autism. Or that’s what my local developmental agency described my support needs as anyway. And support needs fluctuating is not true in that you can dip down or lift up to another autism level every day. Of course, humans, including disabled and autistic ones, support needs fluctuates on a daily basis. That’s normal. What’s not normal is that the support needs go from low support needs one day all the way to high support needs without it at least being consistent or being that persons baseline. And that doesn’t happen to most of these people who claim that they can have level one days then have level two or three days. That’s just not how that works. So let’s use myself as an example of how this doesn’t work the way you think it does: I can’t cook for myself. Not in a way of I struggle to get started but once I’m working, I can cook all by myself. It’s in a way of needing parents to cook for me. I can’t help them out consistently by chopping up food, and I can’...

  So i've come back from McDonald's and as usual, it was very loud and overstimulating. I have nothing against the parents nor the workers, but i just wanted to say how glad i am that i bring my noise cancelling headphones every time that i go there. Because see, every time i am there, it seems that nearly the entirety of my neighborhood is there (Usually when i come later in the afternoon hours though). In which case, makes things very overstimulating. I could feel as if my senses were becoming numb and my thinking began to slow down to an even more slower pace than it was at before. I was not mentally available as i've come to call it, due to having multiple brain farts all in the same minute. My mom was calling me to do things and couldn't let me have a breather, but in reality, she gave me more than enough time in between the demands that i felt that when i had stammered due to the overstimulation i was being overdramatic. But i wasn't. I was struggling and i co...

 hi everyone, its been a while since i last uploaded a post here. so im returning, but no promises on if i will continue to upload posts. i may just forget that this blog exists again, lol. anyway, while i havent been posting lately, ive had a ton of exciting and cool things happen. the first thing that was exciting was that i graduated from high school. that was a month or so ago, and so now im on my way to college. the college course that im enrolled in currently is online and is a library technician course. basically, its to teach me and other students enrolled in it how to be a library technician or in simpler words, how to be a librarian, either for schools or for your average public town library. thats the job im aiming for when im done with that course, to become a librarian for my towns local library especially when it comes to sorting books and such. but i know for a fact that it will be difficult because im autistic and that means that i struggle with social interactions....